We Don't Need No Stinkin' Badgers!
by lone-star-woman
Summary: Torchwood vs. alien badgers and an American general. Sequel to Uncle Jack Harkness. Some Jack/Ianto and Owen/OC in the last chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **The demolition of a mental asylum reveals the existence of a colony of large, aggressive alien animals living on earth. The team must eradicate them before they multiply and spread.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Torchwood; the BBC and Russell T. Davies has that privilege. I also feel as though I must apologize for naming my fictional asylum after Chris Chibnall. (but I do so out of tribute) I also apologize to anyone who has ever watched _The Treasure of the Sierra Madre_ for my intentionally bad play on one of it's iconic quotations.

**Author's note:** This is the sequel to _Uncle Jack Harkness._ It's done in the spirit of a b-movie so it probably doesn't have too much depth to it. I wrote this because I thought it would be fun to try something different. I invite and appreciate any reviews.

* * *

**We Don't Need No Stinkin' Badgers!**

**Part One: A Threat To Their Home**

In a deep burrow underground, a sleeping beast is disturbed. The creature resembles a badger yet it is the size of a German Shepherd. It has long, curved claws perfect for digging and attacking, and sharp fangs for tearing apart flesh. Its midnight blue fur gives it the appearance of a shadow, and its eyes are cat-like giving it the advantage in the dark. From deep in its burrow, it feels the rumbling of vehicles coming from above. It wakes up from its nap and moves with caution into the daylight to investigate.

Looking through a stone and iron fence, the creature observes men unloading crash test dummies into an old, decrepit building. Without a sound, it slips back into its burrow and crawls through the tunnels until it reaches an opening in the floor of one of the rooms of the building. The windows are so caked with dirt they allow very little light to filter enter the rooms, making it necessary for the men to use flashlights and providing cover for the dark creature. In one of the rooms, one man holds a flashlight while another sits on a hospital bed and takes out his equipment to rig a bomb. Another worker thinks he hears the sound of claws on the hard floor and moves closer to the beast. The animal could attack, but it is alone. Instead, it chooses to slip into the darkness and hide. The man returns to his job of placing crash test dummies into the old beds in the rooms. The creature cannot comprehend the meaning of these events. It cannot know what is about to happen nor why. Yet, the number of men, the sounds of their trucks, the blare of the firetruck that rolls into position frightens it. It knows that it's home is being threatened. It crawls back into the burrow to sound the alarm.

* * *

"What exactly is this place?" Gwen asks as Jack drives the SUV down an isolated road to a large plot of land that surrounded by a stone and iron fence and contains several prison-like buildings.

"The Chibnall Asylum for the Mentally Disturbed," Jack replies. "It was built in the late 19th century where it held the schizophrenics, the psychotics, and the unwanted of Wales. It shut down in 1972."

"Couldn't she have picked a cheerier place?" Owen whines as the SUV rolls through the gates.

"She needed a large building in an isolated place to test out her robot." Jack says. "The locals had a big, scary one with an equally frightening history that they wanted to get rid of. I'd say it was a win-win situation."

"Well, I for one am excited," Tosh says. "After seeing her blueprints, I want to see her robot in action."

"All right," Owen says as Jack parks the SUV just outside the stone and iron gates next to a car with a Templeton Industries logo on the side. "But this place still gives me the creeps."

Within the gates, four decaying prison-like buildings surround a large open courtyard with the main building on the southern portion. Two more two-story buildings lie in the north side of the complex where the workers are unloading explosives.

They are greeted by a young woman in a navy blue suit who introduces herself as Allison Scott, Rory's secretary. She walks them into the main building where a small group of military officers mingle as they wait to witness the testing. At one time the reception area of the main building was lavishly designed as a cheerful facade for the misery and hopelessness that permeated through the rest of the building. Now, although it is far from its former state, it has been cleaned up to accommodate Rory's staff and her guests. A generator supplies power for lighting, Rory's equipment and a projector that is hooked up to a laptop and is aimed at a large screen. Rory directs her staff in the final equipment check, but she pulls herself away after seeing her uncle.

"I didn't know you were coming!" she exclaims.

Jack gives her a hug and a kiss on top of her head. "We wanted to surprise you. How are you doing?"

"I've been pretty calm so far," she says cheerfully. "You're a bit early. The workers are just about finished getting the site ready before they clear out of the building."

"It's still hard to believe that part of your job involves blowing stuff up," Jack says.

"Well, Picasso once said that every act of creation begins with an act of destruction." She greets the rest of the team. "Well, hey all of you."

"Hey yourself," Ianto says as he gives her a hug.

"Aurora!" her cousin calls from across the room. He is followed by a military officer.

"Oh, great," Rory sighs. "Here comes Cousin Kevin and General What's-his-face."

"Who?" Ianto asks.

"Kevin Templeton. He's Bertram's nephew and the CEO in charge of development at Templeton Industries. I have to put up with him because he decided to invest in the project, and now he's trying to make a sale to the Americans." Rory puts on her best face. "Hello, Kevin."

Kevin offers a stiff and forced smile. "Aurora, you remember General Phillip Robinson of the United States Marines?"

"How could I forget?"

The general, a boorish, fifty-something man, pauses to examine Rory's outfit. Underneath a white lab coat, she's wearing a cotton candy pink dress with a ruffled skirt and a pair of white granny boots. He shakes her hand with a look of doubt. "Glad to see you again."

"Likewise," Rory replies. "This is Captain Jack Harkness and ..."

"Is that an RAF coat?" Robinson interrupts.

Jack nods. "Yes, but I no longer serve in that branch. My team and I make up Torchwood."

"What's Torchwood?" Robinson inquires.

"They are a form of Special Ops," Kevin replies nervously. He looks at Rory for some sort of explanation, but she simply shrugs.

"You could say that." Jack says with a wink.

Robinson scrutinizes the team. It's clear that he doesn't think very much of them, but is intrigued by Jack. He takes a step closer and looks directly into the captain's eyes. "What exactly do you do for this country?"

Jack finds it amusing that this man is sizing him up. "I keep it safe."

"From what?" The general takes another step closer and continues to maintain eye contact.

Jack doesn't blink. "From things that float under the military radar."

One more step. The two men are only inches apart. "Nothing floats under my radar."

"You'd be surprised," Jack replies with a smirk.

"Ten quid says they pull them out and get a ruler," Gwen whispers to Tosh and Ianto.

"When they do, my money is on Jack," Ianto whispers back.

During this exchange, Owen gently places his hand on Rory's elbow and runs it down to her wrist. Rory doesn't look at him, but is hit with a rush of excitement.

"Looking good," Owen tells her.

"Pardon?" She continues to look at the Captain as Owen examines her wrist.

"Your wrist," he whispers as he leans into her ear.

"Ah." Rory pushes a strand of hair behind her ear and blushes a little.

Max, a pale, skinny young man on Rory's staff, nervously approaches her. Owen quickly lets go and pretends that nothing has happened.

"Rory, we have a problem with the workers," Max mumbles.

"Excuse me," she says to the group before walking away with Max. Jack follows her, but signals to her team to stay put.

Rory puts on a Com piece that she uses to speak with the demolition foreman. "You rang?"

"Miss Templeton, you need to get your people out of there," the foreman replies. "We're under attack."

"What do you mean?"

"They're coming out of the ground! Oh, my God! Walter! Walter, behind you!"

Rory moves to a computer monitor and accesses the footage to the scene outside. Jack stays at her side. Together, they witness the midnight blue beasts attack the demolition crew, feasting on their kills. Those lucky enough to get to the trucks begin to drive away, leaving others vulnerable. Suddenly, the building set for demolition explodes before its due time, causing everyone in the main hall to duck for cover. Jack is the first to rise and looks around to make sure everyone is safe.

He asks his team, "Are all of you armed?" The team pull out their guns. "Owen and Gwen, we need to cover Ianto and Tosh as they get the rest of the weapons out of the SUV. Shoot anything that looks like a very large badger."

"What exactly is going on here?" Robinson demands. "What makes you think you're in charge?"

"Rory," Jack calls. "Bring up the footage on the big screen."

She uses the projector to show everyone in the room the images from the blast. The ground is littered with rubble, the dead workers, and dead alien badgers. A couple of the badgers are still alive, but injured. They angrily roam the grounds.

"You were asking about things that float under the radar," Jack says to the general. "That would be one of those things. Who the hell chose this place?"

"I had no idea..." Kevin said. "I've been here before...I never..."

The captain looks into the crowd of soldiers. "General Brooks, call your people and set up a perimeter around this place. If there are any above ground, shoot them before they flee. I'm also gonna need a lot of explosives."

"How much?" Brooks asks.

"Lots." Jack turns his attention to Rory. "Let's get you and your people out of here."

"I'm staying," she replies.

"There are more of them out there."

"I know. I saw them. But there are workers who may still be trapped in the rubble."

"We'll take care of it."

"I need to do something other than sit around and worry. I've got two robots near the site that can look through the rubble for any men that may still be alive."

Vikram, Rory's computer programmer and ex-boyfriend, starts to collect his laptop bag, but takes one look at Rory and sets it back down. He opens his mouth as if to try to convince her to leave with him, but no words come to him. He reaches out for her arm, but she shrugs him off. He doesn't want to stay, and, being slightly out of shape, he knows that he is no match for the beast that are attacking. Yet, he mumbles, "I'm staying with you."

"If you're going to stay, make yourself useful," Rory says to Vikram.

"Well, if he's staying, so am I," Nancy says with determination. She is the structural engineer on Rory's staff. Unlike Vikram, she is not afraid of getting a little dirty.

Allison runs to Rory. "We need to get Max out of here now before he has a panic attack and before those things attack us."

Rory knows that Max could never withstand the pressure of the situation. "I understand." She places her hand on Max's cheek and addresses him in a motherly fashion, "We'll be fine. I will see you soon. Just follow them. They'll keep you safe."

Jack escorts Allison, Kevin, and Max to the door. He takes one look at Rory, hoping that she will leave as well, but she is giving Vikram and Nancy their orders. "Let's go."

Minutes later, Nancy and Rory are at the computers, and both are using what looks like a video game controller with a joystick and an array of buttons. Vikram is setting up another two laptops when Tosh and Ianto burst in the room with a couple of cases of weapons and equipment. Jack, Gwen, and Owen enter next. Owen sorts out his medical kit while Ianto distributes the weapons to the six soldiers who chose to stay. General Robinson picks out the biggest gun which doesn't surprise the Welshman. Instead, it provides further evidence for his theory about the Marine. Jack moves swiftly to Rory's station.

She pushes her monitor towards him. "Nancy and I are assessing the damage to the building. We sent Fred and Wilma..."

Jack interrupts. "Fred and Wilma?"

"Those are the names of our robots," Rory replies.

With a few taps of the buttons on her controller, Rory commands Wilma to work through the rubble while sending camera footage to her monitor.

Rory continues, "The blast ripped though the center of the north side of the building, leaving the west and east wings intact." Jack watches the feed as Rory scans the blast entrance with a laser built into the robot. A three-dimensional schematic image of the building's interior appears on her screen along with a structural analysis of the demolished building. "We are also getting a couple of heat readings from one of those rooms."

Jack pats her back. "Nice work."

"Thanks."

"All right people," Jack shouts. "What we are dealing with here are Woortuks. They are a pretty nasty form of alien vermin that live underground. They are especially dangerous when they are threatened or when they are hungry. They do not belong here, and we need to get rid of the colony."

"Excuse me, but did you say alien?" Robinson asks.

"Yeah. I did."

"Alien as in from another country or alien as in _E.T._?"

"Alien as in _Alien,_" Owen growls.

"So what's the plan?" Ianto inquires.

"The most important thing right now is to find their lair so that we can destroy it. "

"Do we really have to kill all of them?" Tosh protests.

"Do you know why there are virtually no native birds left in Guam?" Jack retorts.

Tosh shakes her head.

Ianto answer's Jack's question. "The Australian brown snake was inadvertently introduced into Guam by stowing away on cargo ships and planes. They took refuge on the island, hunted the birds, reproduced, and killed more birds, etcetera."

Jack adds, "Introducing a predator to a new location can have serious repercussions for the natives, and you can't train a Woortuk to do anything other than hunt and mate. Now, we need to organize a hunting party to patrol the area. I cannot stress this enough: their home has been threatened, so they are going to be aggressive."

"I'm going with you," Gwen tells him.

Jack pulls her aside and whispers, "I need you to look after Rory. Do not let her out of your sight."

"Couldn't Ianto stay?"

"Rory can be a stubborn young woman. As much as I love Ianto, she'll walk all over him."

"Right." The mention of the word "love" sends a chill down Gwen's spine, but she tries to push it out of her mind. Perhaps he would use that word if he was talking about Tosh. Gwen convinces herself that he meant love in the general sense.

Rory pulls out two more of her robots out of their cases. They are no bigger than a cat and shaped like ants. Over its body rests a set of wheels that can be activated to open like flower petals and set themselves in a functional positions as the insect like legs retract into the body, giving the robot speed as well as maneuverability. "If they are living underground, we can use Barney and Betty to explore their burrows."

"Thank you." Jack looks at her feeling a mixture of gratitude, pride and apprehension. "Ianto and Owen, both of you are with me. Tosh, stay here and coordinate our Coms with theirs so that we're all on the same frequency. Find that lair." Then, he walks to the door, expecting people to follow and keep up. Ianto tosses him a high-powered rifle which he easily catches. When he reaches the door, he turns the men and says with a huge grin and a bad Mexican accent, "Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' badgers!"

"My God," General Robinson says. "He's enjoying this."

"Yup," Owen replies. "And somewhere John Huston and Humphrey Bogart are spinning in their graves."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: In Need Of Rescue**

As Rory gives Tosh a crash course on how to use the controller and the software for her robot, Vikram whispers to Gwen, "That man giving the orders... He's the one Rory visited in Cardiff after her mother died, isn't he?"

"Yes. Jack was a friend to Imogene."

"So you know Rory, too?"

"Yes. I met her during that visit."

"What exactly happened there?"

"She didn't tell you anything about her trip?"

"We don't really talk too much about personal stuff anymore," he says shamefacedly. "Ever since that trip, she's changed. She seems less stressed about work. She has more energy, more confidence. She seems so alive."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Did she meet someone there? A man, perhaps?"

Gwen tries to be sympathetic, but does not want to disclose any information. "When Imogene died, I think she realized that life is short, and she should enjoy it while she can."

"She told Allison about meeting some doctor that she kind of fancies." Vikram mutters.

"What doctor?" Gwen asks.

"Oh, my God," Nancy sighs. She begins with a whisper, but gets progressively louder. "Vikram, stop obsessing over Rory. You made a choice when you got married. Rory has every right to move on, and it's not fair to Amitra who, by the way, is a lovely woman who has done nothing wrong to deserve this sort of treatment." Nancy looks up at Gwen and asks, "As a woman, as a human being, how would you feel if your husband lusted after his boss even though he tries to hide it? If he spent most of his time at work with her, leaving you alone in an empty flat? The sheer thought of it is too depressing for words." The group in the room all turn to her during her rant.

"A little less noise, Nancy," Rory says in motherly voice.

"Yes, of course," she replies. "Sorry about that."

Gwen is a little shaken up by Nancy's speech. "I should really stay out of this." She moves over to Tosh and tries to study the live feed from the robot. However, she finds it momentarily difficult to concentrate.

* * *

As Jack and Ianto lead the men to the bombed out building, General Robinson remains only a few steps behind. The Marine does not take his eyes off of the captain. Jack is aware of this, and he smiles briefly at Ianto before he asks, "General Robinson, are you checking me out?"

"I was doing no such thing!"

"Now, I'm disappointed, but it's just as well. My boyfriend here gets jealous."

"That's not funny," Robinson says.

"No, it's true," replies Ianto. "I get insanely jealous."

"How do you know so much about these creatures?" the general asks.

"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me."

"Just how did you get to be in charge?" the general demands.

"I'm in charge because I'm good at my job."

Robinson holds up his hand to stop the men. He cocks his gun and shoots into an overgrown patch of bushes. A Woortuk crawls out and dies.

Robinson gives Jack a smug smile. "I'm good at my job, too." Both men motion at the rescue party to move forward. The General takes the lead from Jack. "The problem is how do I know I can trust you?"

"Because we are both in this together – just a couple of soldiers doing our duty," Jack replies.

"I would never have someone like you in my outfit."

"Someone like me? Care to clarify?"

"You know..." Robinson looks back and forth between Ianto and Jack.

Another Woortuk tries an ambush from from behind a shed and attacks a soldier. It begins to snap its jaws at the unfortunate man who tries to push it away, but the beast's nails dig into the soldier's skin. Without blinking, Jack shoots the Woortuk in the head for the kill. The men sit still for a while, listening for any rustling, but do not hear anything else.

Jack motions the men to move forward. "What were you saying about someone like me, General?"

The General has no reply.

"Tosh, do we know where the lair is?" Jack asks over the Com.

"We're still looking, but Rory has found the location of the trapped workers and there are three Woortuks trying to get to them. There's quite a bit of debris blocking the entrance, but Wilma is working its way through it to get to them. I'm sending a map of the safest route to them to Ianto."

"Got it," Ianto replies. He gives the hand-held monitor to Jack.

As Wilma tries to move to the workers, some of the alien badgers try to swat at it. They knock it out of the way, sending it sliding across the room. Rory gets it back on its feet and tries to maneuver around the beasts.

Tosh watches the footage and asks, "May I?"

Rory hands the controller over to her, and Tosh maneuvers Wilma into a small crevice in the rubble. The Woortuks use their strong claws to move away the chunks of wall and ceiling out of the way in order to get to the robot. As they get closer to the robot, Tosh keeps moving it deeper into the rubble, making the alien badgers clear up the area for the rescue party. Rory connects a microphone Wilma's laptop and hands it to Gwen.

"Can you hear me?" she asks the workers.

"Who's this?" one of them replies.

"Gwen Cooper. I'm speaking to you through the robot. There is a rescue party on the way. Right now, I need you to barricade the entrance, and no matter what happens, do not try to open the door until I tell you it's safe."

"Please hurry," the worker begs.

By the time Jack and the men reach the workers, the Woortuks have done most of the work for them. The beasts soon catch the scent of the men and lose interest in the robot. They begin to work even faster.

"We're in position," Jack whispers in his Com. He whispers something into Ianto's ear.

"All right, lads," Gwen says through the robot. "Get away from the door. You are about to hear gunshots."

Robinson looks around at the men and motions to them to circle the Woortuks.

Jack stops the men and says, "Ianto?"

Ianto whistles loudly and shouts, "Here, doggie, doggie!" The beasts turn around the face the rescue party, but Jack and Owen kill them quickly before they attack.

Jack smirks at the General. "My way is faster."

Ianto and the soldiers start working on the rubble.

* * *

Back in the main building, while the men are clearing the rubble, Tosh uses Betty's controller to explore the Woortuks' burrows to patch together a map.

"Good Lord, those things give me the creeps every time I see one. How are you not scared?" Nancy asks Tosh.

"Because, they are down there, and I've also seen worse."

"You know, I used to think that Torchwood was some sort of myth." Nancy says. "I used to think that it was part of some spook story passed around by drunken scientists at parties."

"Drunken scientists?" Tosh asks.

Nancy explains, "If anyone needs social lubrication, it's the science geeks."

Vikram nervously taps Rory on the shoulder. "I've completed the scan of the rest of the building. There are no other survivors." He is like an eager suitor waiting for a sign of affection.

Rory keeps her eyes glued to the monitor. "You've got a Com. You can give your report directly to Captain Harkness."

Suddenly, the group in the main building hear violent thumping and scratching coming from the other side of the wooden doors.

Vikram's stomach ulcer flares up. "What was that?"

Tosh looks around the room for possible exits. She sees a dark corridor beyond the metal bars that once separated the inmates from the outside world. "Do any of those rooms get any power?"

"No," Rory replies. She and Nancy immediately look under the table for flashlights.

With a sickening rip, the animals tear a hole in the door, and a several paws claw at the wood surrounding the hole. In a matter of seconds, the group is confronted by a Woortuk, baring its teeth, ready to fight. Three of his friends quickly jump through the hole to join the fray.

"Everybody get behind those bars!" Gwen shouts.

Rory leads her team inside the halls of the asylum, and in the rush, they leave behind their equipment. Nancy closes the bars behind them. Both Tosh and Gwen kill one Woortuk each. The other two scamper back outside, but the group can still hear them growl and hiss. The Torchwood women move behind the bars with the rest of the group.

"Everyone, okay?" Gwen asks. Nancy and Vikram nod as they try to steady themselves.

"I need to get the laptops and the controllers," Rory says. "If you cover me, I can work pretty fast."

"They're still out there, Rory," Gwen replies. "There might be more of them. They can come in any minute and attack."

The Girl with Electric Fingertips lowers her voice. "Gwen, I'm the one that they're least likely to kill."

"You could still get hurt. I told Jack that I would look after you."

"And Jack is counting on me and my team to map out the burrows. We can't do that without my equipment. Look, I won't even stop to collect the power cords. We both know that we don't need them."

"I'll go in there with her," Tosh offers.

Gwen knows what Rory says makes sense, but she also feels that she has made a promise to Jack. She looks at Tosh who seems ready to help in spite of her fear. "All right, but pick up the bare minimum and get back here as quickly as possible. Jack said you were stubborn."

"I prefer the word tenacious. It has a nicer ring," Rory replies. "Now, hold on to my watch, please." Then, she whispers to herself, "No time for fear. No time for fear."

Rory slowly opens the door and creeps over to the stage. Quickly and quietly, she unplugs a laptop from its power cord and carries it with its controller to the bars. She hands it to Nancy. Tosh follows her and hands a laptop to Vikram. Rory's colleagues run into the nearest room - an old electro-shock therapy room. Nancy pushes aside the cobwebs off the hospital bed and set the computer on top. Nancy runs her fingers along the leather straps that were once used to restrain the patients wondering how she ever got to be in a place like this and in this sort of situation. In the reception room, Rory and Tosh pick up the other two laptops when the other two Woortuks creep through the hole in the door. The women back away slowly as Gwen pulls out her gun. The beast fixes its eyes on Rory and growls. Gwen moves forward to avoid Rory and shoots at the Woortuk, but misses. Instead of running away from danger, both creatures charges at full speed towards the women. Tosh quickly pulls out her gun and both women keep shooting until the two Woortuks are dead and Gwen's clip has run out. They both sigh in relief.

* * *

Back in the rubble, the workers have been freed and Owen gives them a quick examination. Ianto watches the hand-held monitor for updates on the Woortuks' movements, but nothing has been sent.

"Anything?" Jack asks.

"Nothing." the Welshman replies.

"What's going on over there?" the Captain asks into his Com.

Tosh secures the metal bars with the leather straps from the bed with Nancy's help. Vikram sets up the laptops once again, but his quivering hands makes it difficult. Rory helps him, and the task keeps her focused which keeps her calm.

Gwen glares at Rory as she looks into the room. "Jack, I'm afraid the robots had to go off-line momentarily."

"What happened?"

"Some of those things ripped the door open."

"Is everyone all right?"

"Yes. I've moved them into another room in the building." Gwen paces up and down the hallway staring at the floor.

"It was a bit scary for a moment when Rory went back to get the laptops." Tosh adds.

"She did what?" Jack asks incredulously.

Gwen sighs. "You were right about..."

Gwen doesn't finish her sentence because she suddenly becomes aware of the sound the nails clicking on the floor, coming from the dark at other end of the hallway. Tosh has heard it as well and advances forward to investigate. She doesn't have time to fire her gun before the Woortuk is airborne and on top of her. Completely caught by surprise, Gwen struggles to reload her gun, but not that it matters since it is too dark to get a good aim. Tosh screams with fright as the claws begin to tear into her jacket and tries to grab onto its neck to push the head away from her. She can smells its fetid breath as it hisses at her. Rory rushes out of the room and taps it with metal pipe sending a small current into the beast, not enough to stun it, but enough to cause it pain. The beast abandons Tosh and squares off with the alien whose glowing hands provide her with light. Rory hits it again and sends a much larger current down the pipe and electrocutes the beast.

The air is pungent with the scent of burnt hair and seared flesh. She drops the pipe and pauses to look at her glowing hands. She shakes them as if trying to shake the residual energy out of them. Once the glow ceases, she sighs in relief and steadies herself by leaning on the wall, temporarily light-headed by the surge of her own energy.

"Gwen! Gwen!" Jack calls over the Com. "Come in, Gwen."

"I'm all right. Rory just killed another one." She turns around and sees the shocked faces of Rory's co-workers.

The alien walks into the room unable to make eye contact. Vikram and Nancy move away from her in fear. Rory whispers into her Com, "Jack, they know."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: A Tense Sort Of Quiet**

Rory kneels next to the dead Woortuk and examines it with a flashlight. Nancy and Vikram try to continue their work, but they are obviously confused.

Nancy has a look of betrayal on her face. She considered Rory a friend so why hadn't she confided in her? The force she used to kill the beast also frightens her. She never would have imagined that she would know someone so lethal.

Meanwhile, Vikram thinks back to the time they spent together, wondering if there were any signs that he missed. There so many nights where he was vulnerable to that power she had. However, nothing is said.

Gwen checks up on Tosh who is tending to the scratches on her upper body. "How are you?"

"Just a few scratches and a new jacket torn to shreds."

Gwen takes off her jacket and offers it to Tosh. "Take mine."

"She saved my life." Tosh says quietly.

Jack enters through the bars into the hallway followed by Owen, who reaches in his bag for medical supplies to treat Tosh's wounds.

"The rear door has been secured. I've looked in the other rooms, and they're all clear." Gwen reports.

The Captain looks at Gwen briefly and pats her on the shoulder before entering the shock therapy room. He watches Rory who gently strokes the Woortuk's fur.

She looks up at him and says. "I had to save her."

"I know you did. You okay?"

"I suppose." Rory picks up the dead animal's paw. "I don't know."

Seeing her face full of regret at that moment makes the testosterone fueled exchange between himself and General Robinson seem so petty. "The transfer of energy is a profound thing. It connects you to your parents, to Bertram and Imogene, to Ianto, to me..."

"To Roger Hughes?"

Jack flinches at the name of the man who Rory killed by accident and in self-defense. "Yes, to him and to that dead creature."

"So, now what?"

"We finish the job."

"They really don't belong here, do they?"

"No. If we push them back into the rift, who knows where they'll end up? We might save ourselves. We might get lucky and return them to their own planet or even send them into the void, but we might unleash a plague somewhere else."

"Captain Harkness," General Robinson says over the Com. "Is everything all right with the ladies over there?"

Jack rolls his eyes at the sound of that voice. "There was a small situation. They got it under control by the time we got here."

"Um, sir," Nancy says to Jack. She can't even look at Rory as she approaches. "We've finished mapping the area, and we believe we've found the lair."

Rory smiles at her and pats her on the shoulder. "Thank you, Nancy."

The structural engineer pushes her away. "I can handle the badgers, but that thing you did Rory... I don't know who you are anymore." The look of anger and fear on her face sends a shiver down Rory's spine. Nancy walks away as quickly as she can.

Tosh gets up off the ground and puts her arm around Rory. "Thank you."

Ianto calls in his report over the Com, "Jack, General Brooks is here with all necessary equipment."

"It's about time," Jack says. "Come to the main building as soon as possible." He turns to Vikram and Nancy, and says, "As for the two of you, the soldiers are ready to get the two of you to safety. Not a word about Rory to anyone. Do you understand?"

They both agree and leave with the soldiers without so much as word to Rory.

* * *

Ianto arrives in the building with a group of soldiers who carry the equipment. As the soldiers report to Jack, he steps next to Rory and gives her a hug.

Jack faces the team to give them their instructions. "The main lair is deep inside the ground. I'm going to have to crawl inside the burrows where I'll leave behind a canister of gas that will put down all of the Woortuks." He looks into Rory's eyes and says, "The gas will put them to sleep before they die. They won't feel a thing." Ianto squeezes Rory's hand affectionately. Jack glances at Ianto and smiles for just a second, just enough for Ianto to notice. "As for the rest of you, you will break up into teams and rig each building for demolition. Once we're all in a safe place, I'll set off the cannister. Then, we'll blow up this place."

"I can use the robot as a scout to alert you of any Woortuks," Tosh offers.

"Is that okay with the inventor?" Jack asks.

"I think that's best. If something were to happen to you, it would be too hard to watch you in pain. But I can help rig the building for demolition."

"You sure?"

Ianto smiles at Jack, "She knows her way around explosives. She knows what she's doing."

"Owen, stay with her."

Owen shrugs. "All right."

"Any questions?" Jack cuts off General Robinson before he can speak. "Ianto, if you'll come with me and help me suit up."

"Of course, sir," he replies.

* * *

In an old exam room, Ianto helps Jack put on a pair of coveralls over his clothes. They are alone and have only a flashlight to illuminate the room. He says to the Captain, "Come back to me in one piece. If one of those things rips you to shreds and we can't put you back together again, you and I are so over."

"Oh yeah? You wouldn't want a little piece of me to keep as a souvenir?"

With a deadpan expression, Ianto asks, "Like a hand in a jar?"

"You wouldn't prefer another body part?"

Jack leans in and kisses him. Ianto breaks his straight face and chuckles before returning the kiss.

General Robinson steps into the room and shines a flashlight at the pair. "God Almighty," he bellows.

"Tiny men and their arbitrary rules," Jack whispers to Ianto's ear. He addresses the general as he puts on a pair of Wellington boots, "Is there anything you want?"

"I just wanted to let you know I'm going with you."

"I can do this on my own."

"I just want to make sure the job gets done."

"Do you still have doubts about my abilities as a soldier?"

"You are one cocky son of a bitch. I've seen soldiers like you. They tend to overestimate themselves and make mistakes."

"I wouldn't want you to pay a mistake I've made."

"I just want to see the job through, Captain."

Jack gives the General one of his cocky laughs. "Fine. Suit yourself."

* * *

In the shock therapy room, Rory stands next to Owen in front of a laptop and shows him where they will place the explosives. They are alone.

Owen nods. "Looks simple enough." He takes out his gun and checks the amount of ammunition he has in it.

"Should be a piece of cake," Rory replies.

"I just want to know," Owen says. "You don't want to see Jack in pain, but what if it were me? What I was the one torn apart by freakishly large alien badgers?"

Rory is thrown off guard by the comment. "Well, with Jack it's different. I..."

"No, I see. Story of my life. I get absolutely no sympathy."

She understands that he is just kidding with her. Her tone shifts to sarcasm. "Aww. Bless your heart."

"Destined to die sad and alone."

"If it makes you feel any better, I would be upset to see you torn apart by freakishly large alien badgers."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Rory leans in close – close enough for Owen to smell her hair. She gazes into his eyes. He suddenly feels nervous and fights the urge to kiss her. Then, in a deadpan voice, Rory asks, "Do you know how difficult it is to find a doctor who specializes in alien anatomy?"

Tosh walks in on the two and is surprised to see Owen and Rory together and alone. She is suddenly embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

Owen takes a few steps away from Rory. "We were just going over the plan."

Tosh nods. "I see."

"I'm going to wish Uncle Jack luck." Rory says as she steps out into the hallway.

Owen transfers the information from the laptop to a hand-held device. While he doesn't look up, he knows that Tosh is staring at him. "If you have something to say, I wish you'd get on with it."

"You and Rory..."

"...Are just friends. She's a nice girl."

"She likes you."

Owen smirks. He's not surprised to hear this. He's just surprised that Tosh knows it. "Does she?"

"Yes, too bad she doesn't know any better. Of course, I can give her the heads up."

"Go ahead. It'll save her a lot of heartache and save me from yet another headache."

"Maybe I will."

"That's fine with me. Now, we've got a lot of work to do. I'd like to get it all over with if it's all the same to you."

They step out of the room into the hallway where everyone is ready to move. Jack looks at Owen and says, "I'm trusting you. Keep her safe."

"I will," Owen replies. "Don't worry."

* * *

With the soldiers to guard them, Gwen and Ianto walk into the building with the explosives and begin their task.

"Rory is really something else, isn't she?" Gwen asks.

"It's not as if she's incapable of following orders," Ianto tells her. "But she's a bit of a freethinker and non-conformist. She's been told her entire life that she just doesn't fit in, that she's an anomaly, that she's the exception to the rule. So, she started writing her own rules. She has a strong moral foundation, but she does what she wants."

"She certainly wears what she wants," Gwen says with a laugh.

"I think her clothing suits her."

"The two of you are as thick as thieves. Sometimes, I feel as though I don't get her at all. She's so human..."

"But she's happy to be what she is. Is that what bothers you?" Ianto asks. He's surprised that Gwen would react in such a manner. "She's told me herself she's much happier not being human."

"Jack seems to think that she walks all over you."

"Jack seems to forget that I'm not Rory's father, nor her boss."

"How are things with you and Jack?"

Ianto can't contain his smile. "Good."

"Do all of the secrets ever get to you?"

"I trust him."

"Yes, but there are so many things you don't know about him."

"It's taken a lot of work to build this trust. He may have been someone completely different in the past, but I know who he is now. That's what matters."

"Do you ever worry about losing him?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

He looks at Gwen thoughtfully. "I do, even though I try not to think about it."

They do not say more about the matter.

"It's so quiet," Gwen remarks. The quiet allows her to ponder her relationship with Rory. It seems that they can't quite connect with each other. Was it as simple as what Ianto had implied. Was she put off by the idea that Rory found something better than being human? Or if she were to be truly honest with herself, Gwen wonders, is it because Rory brought Jack and Ianto closer together? Why would that bother her so much? She wants to be happy for Jack as much as she wants him to be happy for her and Rhys. It's too quiet, making Gwen almost wish for another Woortuk attack to break the silence.

* * *

Outside, Jack stands outside over the opening into the burrow. "Tosh, I'm in position."

She activates Barney and replies. "All systems go."

Jack looks at Robinson and gestures to the hole, "After you."

"You go first, Captain Harkness," he responds.

The captain shrugs and crawls into the burrow with the General behind him. They turns on their night vision goggles. When they look around they see old human bones lying around. Some of them are half-eaten. As Jack crawls, he realizes that he's moving over wood. He looks down and realizes that the wood is from a coffin. "Great! It had to be the cemetery," he sighs.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Small, Dark Spaces**

"They've been eating the dead?" Tosh exclaims. She sits inside the shock therapy room and is surrounded by soldiers. Some of whom are guarding her. Others are packing up the rest of Rory's equipment into trucks for the evacuation.

"I've been wondering why they seem so attached to this place," Jack replies. "Here, they have a store of food for when times get tough. It's all a matter of survival."

"But it's dead people. People who have been dead for decades."

"It's better that they eat the dead than people who are alive." Jack finds a scrap of denim and a hiking boot. "As soon as we get back to the hub, I'd like you to do a check for missing people and pets from the surrounding area."

The General tries to sit up from his crawling position so he can examine the remnants of clothing but he hits his head hits the roof of the burrow, causing some of the soil to loosen and sprinkle on his head.

"Jack, how is Rory?" Tosh asks.

"She said that she is happy that she saved your life. She's a strong person, maybe even stronger than I give her credit for."

"Can we cut all the lovey dovey talk?" the General growls. "We don't want to attract attention to ourselves."

"Since you asked so politely," Jack mutters.

* * *

As Owen watches Rory work, he's impressed with the speed and precision she uses to plant explosives. "Ianto was right. You've done this before."

"It's among some of my other talents."

"Like what?"

"Let's see. I can speak fluent Spanish. I'm also a good cook. I rock at Guitar Hero III."

"Ianto says you cheat."

"It takes a lot of energy and talent to play the way I play," the alien says in her defense. "Oh, and I'm a good dancer."

"That I'd like to see."

"Maybe you could take me out one day and see for yourself."

"But you're in London."

"Hmm. I guess I am."

Suddenly, one of the soldiers hear the sound of animal claws on the floor. "Get her in a safe place!"

Owen grabs Rory by the arm and shoves her in a nearby padded cell. He closes the door and takes out his gun. The cell is pitch black with a tiny window that occasionally lights up from the passing beam of a flashlight or the flashes of light from the guns being fired. Rory sits in a corner, listening to the gunshots and wonders if her day couldn't get any more surreal. When they stop, the quiet sets in again. She analyzes the connection she made with the dead Woortuk. What she felt was pure instinct. There was no malice in the attacks. It just a fear response – fight or flight. However, very little seemed to frighten them. What would it take to scare them away?

When Owen opens the door, she doesn't get up immediately. Instead, she mutters in a deadpan voice, "Ow."

Owen laughs at her. "Did you ever think you'd end up in a place like this?"

"That's an interesting question. I've always known I was a bit different. Of course, I never thought that the man I was flirting with would be the one to push me inside."

As she sits huddled in a corner, Owen realizes that her skirt is revealing quite a bit of thigh. He allows his flashlight to linger on her legs long enough to for her to notice.

"You know, you could help me up," she says, raising an eyebrow.

Owen gives her a hand and pulls her to her feet. "Come on, you crazy lady."

She brushes past him, back to her work. "All right, you naughty boy."

When Rory sees the dead alien badgers, she reaches for Owen's hand to steady her nerves. For a second, he allows himself to consider the possibilities if it hadn't been for Jack.

* * *

"Okay, Jack. You are in the safest position to drop the cannister," Tosh says in her Com as she monitors the screen.

The Captain twists it open and pushes a button. Once he is out and all of his people were in a safe place, it would all be over. "Let's go." he whispers to the general.

"That's it?" Robinson asks.

"Do you want to stick around in here and see if it works?"

The General grunts as he tries to turn his body around in such a small space. He has all the grace of an overturned turtle, and as he moves, small bits of dirt and rock rain into the tunnel. Jack, however, turns around without any problems. He tries to give the General a hand, but Robinson brushes him off as if he was somehow contagious.

"How did you turn around so quickly?"

"I used to date an acrobat. Hmm... Now, he had a lot to teach me." Jack whispers with a smirk.

With much effort, the General repositions himself and is ready to crawl out.

Tosh looks at her monitor and notices two heat signals moving towards the men. "Jack, you may have company soon. There are two Woortuks crawling your way from a fork in the tunnel. They are going to block your exit."

"I'll deal with them once I see them," Robinson growls.

"Be careful," Tosh warns. "The burrow isn't a very structurally sound place to be."

"I know," the General grumbles. He pulls out a pistol and heads toward the exit with Jack behind him.

While Tosh has kept them updated about their proximity to the beasts, the glow of their eyes in the darkest of places still takes Robinson by surprise. He stumbles backwards a bit, almost colliding with Jack. He aims his gun and tries to blast his way out of the burrow. He kills one of them instantly, but the death throes of the other is violent. The beast begins to thrash about, loosening the soil around the tunnel.

"Finish him off," Jack orders.

The General fires again. This time, the animal dies quickly. Jack rolls his eyes and wonders why he ever agreed to let the man tag along. While it was fun to torture Robinson, it was obvious that basic training was a distant memory for him. Robinson begins to crawl awkwardly over the dead creatures and in doing so brushes the top of the tunnel. As his hand sinks into the gooey blood, he instinctively pulls it away. It's a knee-jerk reaction, but the space is confining and the already compromised earth is unforgiving. The drizzle of dust and pebbles suddenly becomes a downpour, trapping both men in the ground.

"Jack!" Tosh says. "What's wrong?"

With all of his strength, Jack pushes his way backwards, using a dead badger to give himself a bit of leverage. In doing so, he swallows some of the dirt causing him to choke and gag.

"Jack!" Tosh screams into the Com. "Please, come in!"

Jack coughs violently after freeing himself from the dirt. "Did I ever tell you about the time I died and was buried alive?"

"What happened?"

"Toshiko, I need switch over to the main channel so I can speak to Ianto and Owen."

"Done."

"Ianto,"Jack says, "Part of the burrow has collapsed on top of General Robinson. I need you to organize the rescue. Owen, I need you at the opening to deliver medical assistance once he's out."

"What about you, Jack?" Gwen asks.

"I'm staying with him until he's rescued. I need to keep a look out for any Woortuks that might decide to try to dig him out for supper."

"Jack, there's a different tunnel you can take to safety," Tosh insists. "I can lead you through it."

"Now's not the time to be a hero," Owen protests. "The man's been a thorn in your side since you first met."

"Just follow orders!"

Ianto, Gwen, Owen and Rory all run to the tunnel entrance, leaving the soldiers to finish the rigging.

Ianto immediately calls for the equipment necessary for the rescue. He takes off his jacket, hands it to Gwen and puts on a pair of coveralls over the rest of his clothing. "Jack, promise me you'll get out of there as soon as I get to the General with the stretcher," he pleads.

"You're not coming in here?" Jack asks in disbelief.

"I thought you liked it when I got dirty."

"I'm going in there with him," Rory says to Jack over the Com. She's already dressed and ready to go.

"Owen, stop her!" Jack orders.

"Owen, don't make me hurt you," Rory warns. "The sooner I get this man out, the sooner Uncle Jack gets out as well." She picks up a rifle and takes out the bullets.

"What did you do that for?" Owen asks.

"I don't know how to shoot, but I can use the metal."

"Let's go," Ianto says, taking the lead. Rory follows him into the graveyard. Owen couldn't help but admire her even though she is clearly insane.

* * *

Jack starts to dig desperately, hoping that he can free the General himself before Ianto and Rory arrive. He curses Robinson in every Earth and alien language he can think of. He imagines beating the man senseless as soon as they pull him out – that is if Robinson survives. However, Jack is a pathologically good soldier. He's served with men who disapproved of his personal choices, with men who mistook his confidence for arrogance. None of that mattered out in the field. No matter what, no man gets left behind.

* * *

"Tosh," Gwen calls. "Where is the location of the other exit to the burrow?"

"It's near the rubble of the first building."

"I want to be there when Jack comes out."

"Just be careful, Gwen. Don't go there alone," Tosh says.

Gwen takes a couple of soldiers with her to meet Jack. Upon arrival, she sees an alien badger roaming the area, looking for scraps of flesh. She remembers the first time Jack showed her how to shoot a gun. His hands showing her body how to take the proper form, his breath on the back of her neck as he taught her how to breathe. She takes aim and shoots as if he was there guiding her. As the beast falls dead, there is no moment of exhilaration, nor ecstasy. So much has changed since then. Jack is no longer so lonely. She is now engaged. That moment on the shooting range – a moment filled with so much potential – exists only in memory for her. That was a moment of perfect trust – the kind of trust Ianto has to offer Jack, the kind that Rhys has to offer her.

* * *

As Rory and Ianto make their way to General Robinson, they hear hissing and grunting from another tunnel. Ianto drops flat on the ground, allowing Rory to crawl on top of him.

_Okay, maybe she does walk all over me_, Ianto thinks to himself. _At least she's pretty light._

She can see the alien badger. "Could you turn off the goggles, please?" she asks.

"Okay." He does trust her and her abilities.

Rory points the rifle at the beast and shocks it. She shocks it again, glowing brighter than before and blinding the beast temporarily. She sends her emotional energy through the metal as a means to establish her dominance. She will not be afraid. The Woortuk cowers away into the recesses of the tunnels.

Rory moves off of Ianto, "Back on."

* * *

Jack has just found the General's feet when Tosh calls him over the Com. "Jack, there are four of those creatures headed your way. Two of them are about to use your escape tunnel. You have to get out of there!"

"Jack, we are in position and ready to dig him out," Ianto says. "Get out of there before you get hurt."

When they see General Robinson, his head and part of his arms are out of the mound of dirt. He had been trying to dig himself out, but exhaustion caught up with him. He is still alive, but no longer conscious with the weight of the earth pressing into his body, threatening to crush the air out of his lungs. Ianto begins to dig while Rory keeps watch. Another beast crawls to them, but Rory keeps shocking it until it moves away. Rory sighs in relief.

Although he's filthy with sweat and dirt and tired from the digging, Ianto finds the strength to pull Robinson out of what could have been his grave. He and Rory strap him onto the stretcher. Rory takes the General's hand and feels for a pulse. She can barely feel one.

Ianto calls Owen and Jack, "Owen, pull him up so we can get out of here. Jack, how are you doing in there?"

Jack follows Barney out of the burrows, "I'm on my way out."

As Jack crawls, he finds a piece of a t-shirt and more bones. Some of them look like animal bones. Others look very human.

"Jack, you are about to reach a fork in the burrow. Mind your right side." Tosh warns.

"How many?"

"Two looks like."

Jack takes out his pistol and moves forward very slowly. One of them crawls out which he takes care of swiftly. The other one storms out and charges at Jack, getting close enough to snap at the Captain before it is shot dead. It looked like much younger beast. Perhaps, all of the mature beasts were killed off by this point. For Rory and Ianto's sake, Jack wishes this was true. The inexperienced hunters would be easier to deal with. Perhaps some would be easy to scare.

* * *

Rory emerges from the burrow first with Owen's help. He holds onto her small frame for a few seconds longer than he knows she should, but he's relieved that she is fine. Ianto pushes the General out as the soldier pull.

Owen tends to Robinson while Rory helps the Ianto out of the burrow. Ianto lies on the ground, breathing heavily as Rory strokes his hair. They look at each other and laugh.

"Not bad," Ianto says.

"Not bad, indeed," Rory replies.

When she turns around, she sees the doctor trying to perform mouth to mouth. He is about to apply chest compressions, but worries about cracked ribs. Too much pressure might kill Robinson. All of that work would be for naught.

"Bring those magic hands over here, now," Owen orders.

Rory kneels next to the General as Owen rips open Robinson's shirt. He guides her hands to the right spots on the marine's chest. "I need you to feel for a pulse. If you can't, give him a shock."

The Light Keeper does as she's told. She searches for a few seconds unable to find any vital signs. She concentrates on her love for Jack as the electricity passes from her body into his. Robinson gasps and begins to cough while Owen gives him a shot of medication to steady his heart. The soldiers look at one another unsure of what they have just witnessed.

"I could murder some Thai food right about now," Rory sighs.

"I know of a good place," Owen says to her.

* * *

Gwen paces around the burrow opening for what seems like an eternity. "Are you sure he's okay, Tosh?"

"He's still with us and in one piece, Gwen. Give him a minute," she replies.

Tosh wasn't lying. Gwen leaps into Jack's arms when he emerges, covering his face with kisses with little regard for grime. Jack holds her close, and he even holds her hand as they walk away from the rubble. Gwen feels so safe and loved she could cry.

"Ianto," the Captain says into the Com. "Still in one piece. Looks like your still stuck with me yet."

With those words, Gwen slowly falls back into reality.

"Everyone to safety so we can blow up this place," he orders.

* * *

With Robinson on his way to the hospital and all of the dead workers on their way to the morgue, Jack sets off the canister of gas. Inside the burrows, the Woortuks die quietly just as if they were falling asleep. Rory looks through the binoculars to watch small wisps of smoke emerge from the burrow entrances. She looks up at Jack who gives Tosh, Gwen and Owen the signal. Together they cause all of the buildings to implode, creating a thick cloud of dust.

Ianto misses all of it. He's taking a well-deserved nap in the SUV and not even the explosions can wake him.

Tosh has to ask, "What level of clean-up procedures do we need on this one?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: Clean-up Operations and Not-so-clean Fun**

After Jack is showered and dressed, he's ready to give orders. "Ianto, you and I have a meeting with General Brooks for debriefing on the day's events and to give orders on how things are to be handled. Tosh, stay at the hub to hack into the computers of Rory's team in order to wipe out any mention of large alien badgers. I also would like you to look into any information about missing people, pets or livestock. Gwen, I need you to talk to the families of the workers who died today. Here's the list. Owen, I need you to deal with Rory's staff. Once you're done, bring her back here."

As Owen grabs his jacket, a small smile appears on his face as he thinks about his assignment, which doesn't escape Tosh's attention.

"Jack is placing a large amount of trust in you," she says to him.

"He's sending me because he knows that given an inch, Rory will do what she wants. I can handle her."

"Like you did when she entered the burrows?"

"That was a life or death situation, and in retrospect, she was the best person for that job."

"I can go with you."

"You have your orders. I have mine." Owen breezes past Toshisko. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go do my duty." He checks his watch estimating the time that he has to go home and change.

* * *

Owen spots Rory's colleagues seated in a booth in the hotel bar. However, the Light Keeper is nowhere to be seen. He sits at the bar where he can keep an eye on the door. A leggy blond sits next to him and orders her drink.

She smiles at him. "Am I being to forward if I offered to buy you a drink?"

"Actually, I'm waiting for someone," he replies.

Rory enters, wearing a flapper-inspired dress with a bit of fringe on the hem. Owen almost expects her to break out in the Charleston at any minute. Her hair is swept up with a couple of tendrils of hair framing her bright eyes. She's also wearing high-heels which she almost trips over as she walks towards Owen. When she sits next to him, she places her elbow on the bar and leans her cheek on her hand.

"Thanks for coming here. I could use a friendly face."

He gestures towards her staff. "They're in the corner booth."

"Whispering who knows what," Rory sighs. "The secrecy is the hardest part of the being who I am. In the midst of one of the worst events of my life, I found something that makes me happy. I found people who I can depend on. I found my Uncle Jack. And I haven't been able to share it with them."

"Most people aren't ready to hear that there is more out there than this."

"Killing that alien badger wasn't exactly the best way to reveal my secret identity."

Owen laughs.

"What's so funny?" Rory asks.

"Your secret identity? It sounds like you should be fighting crime in a spandex suit."

They both laugh. He enjoys that Rory allows him to tease her without taking it personally. In fact, she'll dish it out as well as she takes it.

"What are you having?" Owen asks.

"Cranberry juice."

"Barkeep, I'd like a cranberry juice and vodka for the lady."

The bartender nods at him. Rory tugs on Owen's sleeve. "I just wanted juice."

"You're in a bar. Drink something. You might need it."

"Oh, really? You know what I need?"

"I can guess."

"Barkeep, my friend looks like he needs an apple-tini. Make sure it has an umbrella!" she shouts, leaning over the bar.

"You are a brat," Owen tells her.

"You shouldn't assume things about people," Rory says in a challenging way. She looks around the room. She's been spotted by Nancy. There's no use prolonging the inevitable. "I should go talk to them."

"I'll send your drink over there. Go."

"Wish me luck?"

"Good luck. Whatever happens, I'm sitting right here."

"Thank you." She kisses him on the cheek.

Owen watches her as she straightens up and walks to her friends. She awkwardly slides next to Max who seems genuinely happy to see her. Vikram and Nancy, however, look more than a little upset. Allison looks confused.

"All right, guys. What do you want to know?" Rory asks.

"Is that why you've been acting so differently lately? I mean did they kidnap you and turn you into one of them?" Nancy asks.

The waiter brings the four members of Rory's staff a round of pints along with Rory's drink. The alien takes a big sip. Owen was right about the vodka. She waits for the waiter to leave before speaking.

"I've been this way my whole life, but I didn't realize it until just recently after Imogene died." She tries her best to explain, but her staff begins to yawn as she tells her story. She looks at Owen's seat, but it's empty. He's already on his way to them.

"Everyone to bed before you pass out," he says. The staff is understandably confused, but they are also angry at Rory, except for Max, who has already passed out.

"You didn't?" Rory says.

"I was following orders."

"Jack?"

"Jack," Owen says in confirmation.

Rory winces, but there's nothing to be done.

* * *

Jack has unfinished business with General Robinson at the hospital which he's not looking forward to. He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door of the General's private room. He'd like to Ret-con Robinson, but he gave General Brooks his word that he wouldn't in order to avoid any problems with the Americans.

"Come in," Robinson barks. Jack enters. "Just who I wanted to see."

Jack stands at the edge of the bed and looks at the machines that have been hooked up the General. "I think that it is understood that the day's events are classified."

"Absolutely. If I told anyone, no one would believe me. We have places for people who shoot their mouths off about aliens, and they look like the buildings that were demolished today."

Jack's tone is rigid and formal. "Good. I'm glad we can agree on something."

"Why did you save me?"

"It's my duty. You were part of my team."

General Robinson clears his throat, suddenly finding speech very difficult. "I died today. Maybe it was just for a few seconds – just enough of a window for them to bring me back. But I know that I was dead for just a little bit."

Jack is a collector of stories about near-death experiences. As much as he dislikes Robinson, he can't help but ask, "What did you see?"

"Darkness. Nothing but darkness."

"That's all?"

"Then, I saw a light. I've always been told not to go to the light in those situations, no matter how comforting and inviting it may seem. You see, I always thought that the light meant going to meet the Creator. I was wrong. It was the light that saved me."

Jack knows that he speaks of Rory's light – the essence of everything that she is.

Robinson continues. "It reached for me and brought be back to this world. And for a moment there, it was as if I was looking at this Earth through a different set of eyes." He's clearly very uncomfortable when he says, "I'm sorry that I misjudged you. You have proved your leadership abilities today. I need to acknowledge that."

Jack is surprised that the General is a big enough man to acknowledge a fault like this one.

"I also understand that I have your queer boyfriend to thank for pulling me out of that hole."

Jack is not surprised by the man's choice of words, but he knows that Robinson is at least sincere. "I'll pass along that message to him. He's not queer, by the way."

"He's not? But you and him..."

"He and I are lovers, but he doesn't care for labels. He's open-minded. And he has a big heart."

"If you don't mind my saying so, you're a handsome man. You can have any woman you wanted."

Jack chuckles at this. "I am happy as I am now. I've always been. I don't expect you to understand that, but I hope you can at least accept it. Is there anything else, General?"

"No. That's all, soldier."

"Well, good-bye. Thanks for playing on _my_ team," Jack says with a wink. He exits the room.

* * *

When Owen unceremoniously dumps Max on the bed, Rory glares at him. She removes his shoes and places them neatly on the side of the bed. She leans over the frail young man and takes out his contact lenses. Owen notices her stockings have seams on the back.

"Let me," Owen offers.

"I can do it," she replies dismissively.

"Look, Jack's right about this. He would do this to anyone else. We've had enough problems with security in the past to let four civilians know about our operation."

"I understand. I'm just a little upset that I didn't get a say in the matter. Maybe I would have agreed to this because it would have given me a chance to do things over."

"Are you planning on telling them?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure how they'd react."

She looks around the room and tries to arrange things in a neat, orderly fashion for her obsessive compulsive assistant. Owen sits on the edge of the bed and watches her work. She takes great care in arranging Max's things, and at times repeats the same task over and over again, trying to get it just right.

"So that other guy, Vikram?"

"What about him?"

"You and he used to be lovers?"

"Yes, until he broke it off to get engaged."

"What did you see in him? He's okay looking. Maybe a bit thick around the waist, but nothing too bad. He just seems so... timid. Sad, really."

"He stayed and helped."

"Because of you."

Rory sits next to Owen and takes a few moments to search for the right words. "I was a different person, then. When I got my memory back, I got my father's spark back as well. You see, he gave it to me the moment I was born. His gift to me was his joy and love in bright flash of light. Without it, I was a mousy little thing, but not anymore."

Owen reaches up and touches her face. "No, you are the furthest thing from mousy. It's hard for me to imagine you that way."

Rory takes his hand in hers. She leans over and kisses him on the lips.

"Definitely, not timid," Owen says before kissing her.

* * *

At the hospital parking lot, Ianto and Jack walk together to the SUV. "I'll drive," the Captain says.

They pull out of the lot and as Jack makes a right turn, Ianto asks, "Where are we going? The hub is to the left."

"It's a surprise. Tosh is at the hub, and Gwen is going to join her there soon. Rory and Owen aren't due in the hub for another hour. We have some time to kill, and we are both entitled to a bit of fun after the day we've had."

"We could go to my place."

"You know I love your flat, but right now, we've got a rare opportunity. I've got something better planned. You'll just have to trust me."

"I always do."

* * *

As soon as Rory and Owen are in the room, she hops on him, and he carries her to the bed with her legs wrapped around his waist. She giggles as he drops her on the bed. Owen takes off his jacket and throws it off to the side before kicking off his shoes and joining her. He kisses her with urgency, but this is a far different experience that anything he's known. She's not just another anonymous conquest. With Suzie, it was just sex stripped of all of the romance and for a time it was fun until she became obsessed with the glove. With Gwen, it was angry sex with the added burden of shame. With Diane, it was passionate, intense and so frightening because it made him feel so vulnerable. With Rory, everything seems playful, even when they argue. There's the added bonus that the sex is new to her again since this is her first time as a Light Keeper. On the other hand, Owen wonders if he's the right man for this honor. As he kisses her neck, Owen expects Jack to burst into the room and twist his neck until it snaps. He moves his hand up Rory's thigh. She's wearing thigh high stockings held up by garters. She's absolutely killing him. As he undoes the clips, he imagines that Jack would never let him off so easily. Jack would strap him to a table and cut off his testicles. Ianto would help. His balls would be dipped in bronze and put them on Jack's desk as a prize or a paperweight. Rory traces her fingertips along Owen's ear and down to his neck, searching for a connection. The doctor can feel what she's experiencing as if he's crawled under her skin. He can feel the rush of blood through her body as he kisses her harder. The sex would be incredible. He would never have to question his performance since she would allow him to feel what she feels.

_It has to stop... after one more kiss._ Owen thinks to himself. _No, it has to stop, now! _He jumps off of her and onto his feet.

"Owen?" she asks. "What's wrong?"

"I can't. It's not anything you're doing. You are so... and the sex would be unbelievably mind-blowing, unprecedented, really... I just have to stop before we go any further. Jack would castrate me for this."

"Jack?"

"I've done things to hurt him in the past. Terrible things. I can't do this to him. God, those stockings are so hot."

Rory closes her eyes and sighs. She gets off the bed "I should change."

"Probably. Yes. I'll wait for you downstairs." Owen practically bolts out the door.

Rory feels confused and rejected. She can't help but wonder if being a Light Keeper had something to do with Owen fleeing the room. She wonders if perhaps he thought she might kill him on accident. Sex can kill, can't it? Certainly she's hear of it in normal circumstances, but perhaps the surge of energy that comes with an orgasm might... Rory refuses to think of it, but she can't help but obsess a little. She enters the bathroom and washes her face, thinking of all of the things that could have gone wrong. She has never thought about it until now. She would have to perform some experiments... alone.

* * *

Jack and Ianto walk down the hallway to the hotel. The Captain smirks as he pulls out his universal hotel key, giving him access to any room in the country. As soon as they step inside, Ianto realizes that this is General Robinson's room.

"Oh, no," he says.

"Oh yes," Jack replies. He looks in the closet and finds Marine Corps blue dress jacket. He continues to rummage around the room until he finds the Marine's sword in its scabbard. "Oh, yes!" He takes off his RAF coat and tosses it to Ianto before slipping on the General's jacket. "Oh, yeah." He walks in front of Ianto and twirls around, modeling it for him. "Admit it. I make this look good."

"You make anything look good." Ianto takes off his jacket and his pants. He moves towards Jack and leans into him for a kiss, but the Captain pushes him away.

"Is that any way to treat a superior officer?" he growls. Ianto laughs, but Jack continues the game. "Well, maggot?"

"Sir, no, sir!" Ianto shouts in character.

"That's what I thought, maggot. Are you ready to be a good soldier?"

Ianto can feel the Captain's breath on the back of his neck. It's taking some will power to continue. "Sir, yes, sir!"

"Where are you from, boy?"

"Cardiff, sir!"

"Cardiff, eh?" In a parody of _An Officer And A Gentleman_, Jack says, "The only things that come out of Cardiff are steers and queers, and I don't see any horns on you."

Ianto can't hold the laughter in, but Jack leans in so that they are nose to nose. "You think that's funny, maggot?"

Ianto shakes his head and tries to get back into the game. "Sir, no, sir!"

Jack carries the sword like a riffle and sings the lines from Full Metal Jacket, "This is my rifle. This is my gun." Jack grabs his crotch on the word "gun." He continues, "This is for shooting. This is for fun!" He tosses the "rifle" at Ianto and hops on the bed.

Ianto repeats the song for his Captain with all appropriate gestures and while marching in place. "This is my rifle. This is my gun. This is for shooting. This is for fun."

Jack lies on the bed and pats the other side. "Now, soldier. Drop and give me fifty."

The Welshman climbs on the bed and gives Jack a kiss. "One," he counts.

Jack pins Ianto on the bed and growls, "You call that a kiss? Start over, maggot."

Ianto pushes himself on top of his Captain and kisses him harder. "One!"

Jack loves this side of Ianto. "That's better. Continue."

* * *

Rory walks into the lobby wearing her Cal-Tech sweatshirt and an old pair of jeans. She's scrubbed all of the make-up off her face and has her hair in a ponytail. Owen doesn't like the outfit. It makes her look so ordinary. They say nothing to each other. However, when they walk into the parking lot, the alien shudders when she remembers Roger Hughes and her near rape. She holds onto Owen's arm for support. He takes her safely to his car and drives her back to the hub. He turns on the stereo so that they won't have to say anything to each other.

* * *

Toshiko looks up when Owen and Rory arrive. Rory smiles and sits next to her. "How are your scratches?"

"Fine, thank you."

Owen heads to the sofa in the R&R area. He lies down and puts his arm over his eyes.

"Where's Uncle Jack and Ianto?" Rory asks.

"They're not back yet." Tosh replies.

"Oh."

Gwen enters from the Jack's office. "Everything all right?"

"Yeah. Although I'm not quite sure what I am going to tell my staff about what happened today or why they can't remember anything, but I'm sure that Uncle Jack can think of something."

"He's just trying to protect you. He saw how upset Nancy and Vikram were about..."

"Yeah, I know." Rory looks around and says. "Loads of trouble and Torchwood working overtime. Rory must be in town."

"It's not like that. Jack likes having you around." Gwen pauses for a bit. "We all do," she adds.

"I was only kidding," Rory says with a wink and a click of her heels. "Thank you, all of you."

"I should thank you. I went to visit all of the families of the victims, and Templeton Industries had already taken care of things. They all received a more than generous offer."

"That wasn't me." Rory says. She then smiles and whispers to herself, "I guess Kevin has a heart after all."

Ianto and Jack walk into the hub. Nothing in their behavior betrays the fun they had in the General's hotel room. Jack stops short when he sees Rory. He feels guilty for pushing her back into the closet and for how it was handled. However, he couldn't take any chances. Yet, he still worries about how Rory might react and examines her face. Rory holds her chin up and looks up at the Captain with her arms behind her back. They stare at each other for a moment, not saying a word.

Without batting an eyelash, the alien tattles on the doctor, "Owen pushed me in a padded cell." She can't stay mad at the Captain. It's not in her nature as a Light Keeper. Anger is a energy draining emotion that she can't afford.

Jack is relieved that Rory opens with a joke. Owen is also relieved. They both know she said that to let both of them know that there are no hard feelings between them.

"I did it for her protection!" Owen protests.

"It was dark in there and dirty!"

"Says the girl who crawled through a burrow to save a complete jackass!"

Jack splits up the two in their mock-argument. "All right, kids. Break it up!"

"Ianto!" Rory shouts as she runs to her favorite Welshman.

He gives her a small bow while she curtsies. He shows her where they keep the equipment for her to do some minor touch-ups on the robots. Jack watches his niece as she practically hangs on the Ianto's arm.

"They adore each other," Gwen says.

"His calm exterior is a good influence on her," Jack replies. "And they're a lot alike. They both keep busy in order to keep fear and anger at bay. The meaning they attach to their work helps them transcend. They would both die for me."

"So great is their trust?"

"And so frightening." Jack watches Rory as she laughs at Ianto's comments.

She claps her hands. "Way to go, Ianto. Way to go."

"Is that _An Officer And A Gentleman_ reference?" Jack asks.

"I didn't tell her anything," Ianto stammers.

Rory gasps. Her eyes dart back and forth between the Captain and the Welshman. "Now, I'm intrigued."

Jack looks a bit flustered. Normally, he wouldn't be so shy about divulging details about his sex life, but because it's Rory and because it involves Ianto, it doesn't seem right. "There's nothing to tell."

"By the way, Uncle Jack, you win."

"Win what?"

"I've decided that I'm moving my staff to Cardiff. Vikram might not join us, but maybe that's for the best."

"Are you sure?"

Rory nods. "I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Today, I realized that's what I want – to be with you."

Toshiko looks over at Owen who smiles to himself.

"Okay," Jack says. "Owen, Tosh, Gwen, why don't you go home. You can finish up reports tomorrow. Ianto, if you'll stick around a bit to make some coffee, I would appreciate it. Rory and I have still have some work to do. Max is a meticulous man who is going to notice any dings on the robots if we don't take care of them."

"You got that right," the alien agrees.

"I could stay," Gwen offers.

"That's all right," Rory says cheerfully. "You have that fiancee waiting for you at home. He's probably worried."

"Rhys?" Gwen says. "Yeah. I suppose you're right. I'll see you tomorrow, Jack. Bye Ianto."

"Bye, Gwen," Ianto replies.

Owen and Rory's eyes meet briefly before he leaves. He knows he made the right choice tonight, but there's something about the mischief in her eyes that makes him feel as though he missed out on something. He vows that he will never find out what that is if he values his relationship with Jack. There are other fish in the sea. Some of them not as eccentric, nor as idiosyncratic, nor as much fun, nor so unexpectedly sexy, but there are other fish with less baggage.

"How did you spend your evening?" Tosh asks.

"Rory has weird friends," Owen replies.

"Rhys?" Gwen says into her cell phone.

"Don't tell me," he responds. "Another long night?"

"No. I'm coming home. I was going to ask if you wanted me to pick something up."

"No. This place feels so empty without you. Just get over here, now."

"Yes, sir." Gwen says before she hangs up her phone.

"_Love lift us up where we belong_," Rory sings at the top of her lungs.

"That's enough, Rory," Jack says.

Ianto picks up the next line of the theme song to the aforementioned movie. "_Where the eagles cry, on the mountain high_."

"Et tu, Ianto?" Jack asks helplessly, "Gwen, you've got to help."

"Sorry, Jack. You're on your own."

"_Love lift us up where we belong_," they continue. The look at each other and realize that they can't remember the next line.

Jack figures that if he can't beat them he'd at least join them. He sings, "_Far from the world we know, up where the clear winds blow_."

THE END


End file.
